i'm off to koh tiki wiki waka waii waii

this was originally posted elsewhere on 18-4-2007. so since i'm planning moves... why not go the whole yard..? so here it is...


you betcha' i'm off for a holiday at the dawn of may... if you had to ask "where", i'd tell you that is exactly the point. =)

It's been so long since i went on them walks of solitude. when you hearing nothing but the rustling of leaves, or nothing punctuated by little insensitive shits in the distance mat rempiting their way along or the blaring of car horns...

my favourite island has to be singapore. it's a classic example of irony. I live in a bland suburb (that's where all the nasty shit go down) and work in a city. so when i'm holiday in singapore, it's a great relief... cos' i'm on one and the locals are playing rodents. so i enjoy walking around like an uncouth apek lorry driver in his favourite running shorts, while everyone's in their business suits. you can't ever beat anonymity.

on a political level, they're like israel, with that "siege mentality" macho grunt thing. i dig the politics of "us against the world", but I don't like the direction they have taken to a lot of issues, but at least their consistent. singapore's mitigation to the frequent charges of being boring, hyperactive types has to be their transport system. efficient, dependable, cheap and un-rapid lrt-like.

i'd rather shun touristy islands - that whole common purpose thing scares me... what if the people who are already there are actually zombies... that's true.... if you go to a rave, see them move.... then again i connect with "shaun of the dead" and "kevin & perry go large" on an almost juvenile level... anyone out there, who thoroughly enjoyed how eye-ball paul got his comeuppance, message me....

now if were to consider that whole desert island thing, my decision on the state of that island and whether i choose to stay on it depends on a few things. electricity, perhaps? no... if I had this amazingly gorgeous goddess stuck on the island with me... it could be bearable... no one but us, althought she might not see it that way... or even a great qualified thai masseuse on stand by while i get used to the place. then again, not. especially since it is a "desert island".

which brings me to the cartographical representation of one's constipated rectum delivering out one tiny little piece of... well... a dunglet (like piglet but piglet's nice). if you guessed the answer, message me about it.

so much for travelling and islands...until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight.....

jackie chan, baby, jackie chan...

this was originally posted elsewhere on 17-4-2007. so since i'm planning moves... why not go the whole yard..? so here it is...


it's weird... last night we went to no black tie to watch cheeky rafique-e rashid, dish some good ol' fashioned whup-ass. the original troubadour and all round baddie boy.
the old gang was there to see rafique sans alex... azmyl, the fang bros, frances and pietro all hanging out like 5 and a half years didn't go by...
so if you ever want to watch rafique in action, he's up again on 30.4.2007... and if you're a cheapbastardos like us, you'd like to know there's no cover charge and dear evelynn won't pick on you...
which brings me to my next item... the maharajahs are at it again... next month's end. will it be fun or will it be another unscripted massacre akin to "this is spinal tap"... like all values malaysian, wait and see-lah...
one thing i'd like to float here is this... rafique thought the word "morass" was entertaining after a few... i thought it was funny too. That made me think of my favourite double think phrase - not that i really use it anyway.... but it calms me down a bit... it is this "as a whole".
for usage, consider this, "as a whole, you are wrong" or even "as a whole, your position is untenable".... or what about "as a whole, i love you"... don't try the last one, you'd likely not take your relationship seriously and eventually piss off your ..., unless you're trying to make up after a fight....
ey, macha.... that's language for you.... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight.....

never gone all megatron in a cinema?

i worship the god called optimus prime. if you're one of the countless persons to have come out hating "transformers", face it, you seriously need to get your head checked by a jackhammer. am i imposing my likes and dislikes on you? i could and i am doing it right now. this is my blog and i am doing my best frank welker-megatron laugh....

this is actually a bug that's been bothering me for a long time. people who walk into cinemas and saying, amongst other things, that there is no story or lack of one, that its not realistic and the list goes on. not just for this movie but every other movie in the sci-fi or action movie genre.

1stly as a reference, "transformers" was directed by michael bay. that says it all. he doesn't understand acting but he sure knows how to blow things up. but how can anybody complain it's not real enough, when it's about insane robots tearing each other up like no 2moro? i know it's all CG, but the key was a sense of realism and depth.

and die hard was real? seriously. die hard was about one sorry ass white male blowing things up that looks cool when blown up. do you see me whining like a faggot-pseudo reviewer saying "its not real-lah"? i liked the latest 4.0 and if one took the time to read the article "farewell to arms" by john carlin, there may even be some appreciation for the movie. fact is, i'm asian and i like watching white grudgy males blow shit up. nothing makes me feel more asian than watching sly, arnold, brucie, dolph, van damme stir things up. nothing gives me closure to my lil wins than rounding it off with a quiet "yippiekiyay..."
what really winds my up tremendously, are such "its not real-lah" allegations being levelled against the james bond series.

is it possible that after 21 instalments, people still live under "tempurungs" and not know that JB is premised on ridiculous stunts? and that nobody gets laid that easily without contracting crabs and being an utter knob. (pause)... oh, a flood of names come trashing thru and thus, i stand corrected. =)

so next time, if anyone watches a movie and decides to get smart with an "unquotable quote" like, "it's not real-lah", think twice before you do it, because it is as annoying fatty as the "i taiko mah" ah beng in the DiGi ads... and the fatty finally gets his comeuppence in the new line of DiGi ads. some clap and sound of their approval, but a huge majority are silent about it. i wonder why.

speaking of get smart, "get smart" is hitting the big screens soon, with steve carrell... how about that. with his talking shoe, etc... you know the caveat. don't say much abt that and walk away... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight.....

if this was pop culture in the USofA, you know why BushJr made it this far

This was hilarious. A prime example of verbal diarrhoea.

...and then redemption.

happy merdeka hols.

hello, my name is azmyl yunor...

Here's azmyl's recent break out at Bay Beats Festival 2007 @ Esplanade in Singapore.

Enjoy...

All you have to do to bung it up is to close one eye.

True to their penchant for saying the most perverse things straight out of a generic American episode of "World's ...-est Videos" our local BN MPs Bung Mokhtar Radin and Mohd Said Yusof have once again allowed their own upbringing to sully this nation's Parliament.

Clearly the theme song for the day had to be familiar goading of "the Limbo Rock", as popularised by Chubby Checker. So, how low can you go?

It is embarrassing for a man, let along a Member of Parliament to speak of menses in such a trifling manner. and one only makes such an assumption because that is alluded to by the remark made towards MP Fong Poh Kuan DAP, which to any right-minded rakyat may be considered as being about as subtle as a sledghammer having tea with the family jewels.

This latest incident has transcended partisan politics and brought to the fore a moral imperative that every voter has to consider.

In short, as the Speaker has decided to sweep the matter under the rug by relying on an almost perverse reading of Standing Order 26(1)(p), it bears noting that your government has been numbed into inactivity. That brings to mind the shallowness of the the supposed moral majority now lording in power and harping on about having the moral high ground, when their own MPs conduct themselves in such a beastly manner.

Although, the debate that precipitated the said remark was centred around policy, it just went to show that the said BN MPs had to resort such insensitve chest-thumping to drive their point home at the expense of DAP's MP modesty, when the arguments got a little more testy than usual. Assuming we live in a parochial climate, Is that then, truly the measure of a man?

The action taken by the Speaker of our august Parliament is nothing short of a glowing seal of aproval for such a remark and that the conduct of the said BN MPs, remain duly noted as a national embarrassment and an international stain.

It is perhaps easy to forget the gravity of the matter after a few days or weeks thereafter but consider the implications of not censuring or punishing the said BN MPs or if nothing meaningful is done to remedy the effects of the horrible remark made.

It would be tantamount to institutional acceptance of the said remark and that will inevitably set up bad examples to impressionable minds that it is perfect acceptable do so and at the most, perhaps a light tap on the wrist may suffice. The damage has been done. Consequences be damned.

To put things in perspective, what faith can the rakyat have in our elected officials if they cannot hold their tongue or conduct themselves in an honourable manner. A further point to be made is why women BN MPs in attendance did not nothing to defend the DAP MP's modesty.

Whether there is a party line to be followed is debatable, but to do nothing, speaks volumes of our national values. Condoning such acts can lead this duly elected government into a false sense of well-being, which can then degenerate into a "monkey see, monkey do" mentality. Perhaps this has already become the norm, but that is to be left for another day.

The remark made is beyond apology for although the said BN MPs may be forgiven, the hurt and embarrassment that accompanies such public remarks will remain. The year 2020 is fast approaching and with it, high ideals and aspirations. Do we remain apathetic heathens and let this slide?... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight.....

when hand-ups lead to panhandling

My views on being a bumiputra, can be attributed to Rehman Rashid's views on the matter in his wonderful book, "A Malaysian Journey". I didn't find the book to be the best thing since sliced bread, but where I once did not have an opinion about who I was or were to become, I can easily say the book was iconic and life changing, and can be favourably seen in the same light as kerouac's "On the Road"... (well, that and easy rider... ).


simply put, it is a privilege and not a right. this is an absolute. there's only so much affirmative action one can be handed down with before one's natural instincts to excel and survive, diminish.


my politics on the matter's very simple. on an individual scale, preferential treatment should only go as far as education. after that, you're on your own. this is the way of the world. no extra discounts for bumi homes. no extra incentives, no preferential hiring of employees, etc. I take the middle path that while i feel such affirmative help is beneath me, there are rural folk who need it and there are many that need help.


the one thing great about being a professional is that you dictate your terms. that your work and the quality thereof remains the only benchmark that you are judged by. you are not beholden to or accountable to anyone but yourself and your client. you don't get the job or win the case in court because you are a bumi. justice remains untarnished by fraudulent and pseudo-nationalism.


with the Maybank and AmBank ruling on 50% Bumi equity now dealt with in public, i only feel disgust. For context read here. It's bad enough that it appears acceptable to receive handouts to no end, but to adopt a very suspect "if they are doing it, so can we", is a clear indication of polarisation and a lack of understanding as to what it means to be a professional.


historically perhaps, as a race, the malays were economically impeded , but as the pace of modernisation continues to accelerate and the way this glorious ship called earth becomes but small village, with an unimaginable level of connectivity and technology outstripping the way we deal with the world, such preferential treatment becomes a mere crutch.


it is very difficult not to walk on the streets of of every suburb, city or town and not see a sizeable number of savvy and middle income malays on the street. if the benchmark for development is severely held back by the rate of development or lack of it within the rural demographic, isn't it a case of lousy planning and ineffective delivery?


i'll tell you a simple fact, no single skin colour is unaffected by poverty or a lack of accesss to choices. to think in such a manner that it does, as the current model of the NEP condones, is simply an abdication of this country's leaders and a great hindrance to national unity.


hey brader... even chinese, indians and lain-lains can be poor and destitute. what compounds matters, is that these fellers share the same destiny and spill blood for this same nation and walk around with the same identity card. what makes the good intended of the NEP incapable of being colourless, is the influence of greed and selfishness and not merely vested interest (which is a nicer way of calling out the former).


this post is really about all these thoughts that there has to be limits as to how much help one can receive from privilege before inequity sets in and ruins the party for every one.


so you get an education, being a bumi you got no money or access to university, so you get a hand up... not a handout. so you work and earn your salary or daily wage and buy yourself a house. what makes a working bumi any different from a working non-bumi? some say housing discount, and i'd agree.


if a bumi and a non-bumi both get paid RM5,000 for their respective jobs and the bumi gets a housing discount, what little social balancing is there to be done to actually justify such a discount or preferential treatment?


if such help was for poor folk then that should be just it, because once you can walk on your own two feet and slog for your food does that mean you should still rely on crutches all your life?


if as a bumi you feel sufficiently empowered do join the human race and abolish such anti-competitve and unprofessional practices, and maybe, Rehman's wish that the bumi work output be granted the respect it deserves becomes a social reality.... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight.....