i'm in such a foul mood today.... or any other day when it's suitably awkward.

i sent ck a note on his FB announcement... ie. that he's married and what do i send to him in return? this note... "congratulations...dude... first of many days of certainty and joy. you want happiness go fuck a hooker... =) lol..." that was mean and funny at the same time.

women expect and want too much from the guys. i had a discussion the other day and i stand by it. men and women have such different expectations... men look up to "the man", that tent pole of lust and domination, that conquering fuck of all he surveys. women think, i suspect, that all men or the lot of them are just that.

can i burst that bubble of shit? i only know of one guy who's reputation exceeds him, and he's nicely locked away in sabah until he feels like taking a trip on airasia for some peninsular pussy. most of my guy friends are relatively pussy whipped and quite bunch of good boyfriends and husbands. that's why the prevailing male movie fantasy is to be "the man", the alpha dogg, squadron commander flashheart type. cos' face it men are by and large creatures of habit and routine.

the ladies on the other hand, i think have very varied love lives. just as a comparison, up to the point of going with mickey's ex, i gather from the lad that his ex had clocked up a fair number of boyfriends, maybe 6 deliberately serious ones, while the green horn in mickey had only managed 1 other relationship. with an age difference of 6 years, between him and her no way he's gonna catch up. after breaking up, she was back in the game within a year, and with 2 very interesting blokes, he could only let out a sigh and reflect on managing only 1 after a barren 3 years. it took him that long to get back into the groove.

when you really think about think about, most of lady friends you or i will ever know, have had and will have really amorous love lives, it's only a matter of time. nobody needs to dial up the numbers... just look at the many movies out there these days that perpetuate the opposite of it.

any lad's teen or guy gets girl movie will often feed the fantasy of the trophy girl... or woman (if you really want to be tetchy about it). that purity, that "i'm so nice, i'm not a bunny but i fuck like one" schtick. it's the complete opposite of real life...(or is it? - the eternal optimist strikes) the guy's always promiscous and the girl's always the angel.... not necessarily the virgin... hollywood's waaay past that complex.

so the reality of it is scary, i just sat over a dump and realised that most women i'm going to meet are never going to be virgins, or handmaiden's to be sacrificed for more rain, but plain interesting women. they may be ugly, but most of them are quite interesting nevertheless. while on the other hand, the ladies ought to realise that most guys, aren't the horn dogs you thought of them to be.

they just figure out that special move, that special something... i dunno, like a ferengi ear lobe massage, and stick to it... like sports and games... you keep it simple and get good at it... and they will cum back for more... (ha ha.... cum and back... in the same sentence).

yes there is also a sizeable minority (49.9999999% to the nth) that fit the mold on the fantasy... but from what i've seen, the former's usually case....

if you're a feminist, you need not point out to me the fact that hollywood is a male conspiracy.... i would agree with you, but this is not about the deification of women, but simply the understanding that you get what you deserve... and it's a reflection of what is out there. if you want to make a difference switch to discovery or animal planet.

i know a couple of close friends who've frequented bordellos. they're still well adjusted fellas, and now most of them are married or in a long relationship. so what's the difference between joy and happiness... i first read of it in stephen covey's 7 Habits book and there's this article which explains it... good fortune, huh... if you got the money to spare, give it to apple at hotel the world. but if you really want to get freaky get a relationship.

i watched "the girlfriend experience" about 2 weeks back. did i like it? not really. i had to switch it off half way through. instead i flipped on "lesbian vampire killers" and finished it. TGE was harrowing and stupid at the same time. if i didn't know better i'd swear, stephen got a really great lay from sasha, and being all that with that "unique business acumen" of hers... she managed to get the sod(-erbergh) to bankroll this exercise in narcissism.

i, along with most of the male population of this planet have known sasha for a very long time. but if skinny tart is your flavour then go ahead. give me annette schwarz or belladona any day. real women going about they're own thing and not giving a shit what anybody else has to say... sasha's a real diva. it's amazing that people dig TGE. LVK on the other hand was so bad, it may even be good, but for the strong and prevalent use of final cut pro and bad scripting... i got no issues with FCP but moderation and invention, is the key....

if there was ever a porn star role model for the ordinary joe, it would have gone hands down to the ugliest son of a bitch, ron jeremy. a fat hairy dong who hung out with the best.... i mean you only have to watch him to know that he gives hope to millions where there once was none. if you ever felt down, all you gotta to do is watch ron get it on and you will feel like a million bucks. i mean, if he can, you can...anybody can. just stay away from my dog, you sicko... and my pet goldfish, too.

on the flip side, there's rocco siffredi for me. with rocco, he's the guy everybody wants to be. he gets the girls, all of them. he's known to be rough.. very rough, but you can't fault the guy if the ladies return for repeat performances. he's virile and energetic and quite possibly a hard worker.

so if i had a choice it would have been ron for inspiration and rocco for setting the bar. the former is a premium and it still is, the latter i can do without some days. the argument for or against pornography has become so pedantic and stale, it's amazing how it's become part of mainstream pop culture, and boring. because after clocking all the hours you could sit yourself through, you get hit with the cold hard bitch steel called life... and she's still sitting there. there's nothing you can do about it.

anyway, if you find a girl who's as freaky as you are, don't let her go. i often get asked the question, "am i picky?" or as a statement, "oh, you're just choosy.", but i'm not, really. i just have an inbuilt sense of what i drives me and it changes from day to day. some days, i'm forgiving, and other days i'm so bloody cerewet. but most days, "i love who you are, i love you ain't". you gotta look for that silver lining. life's really shitty and it's gonna beat you down... and if you can't find it, go give it a 2nd chance.

... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight.... or you could get some.

I stand by what i said earlier.

hi all...

i love this country as much as all of you do. when i wrote this piece i was really fed up and broken up with all the bullying and lack of compassion and magnanimity shown by the majority and/or the people in power. i see what i see and i hear what i hear and i understand what i understand.

i just wrote what i felt and it was brutally honest. i did not set out to mask my words in finer language or well thought out sentences. i realised that what i wrote was ugly but it was the truth. the truth has a nasty habit of making one feel uneasy because it brooks no nonsense. it is, a hard task master.

maybe some of you feel that the message could have been refined. but at what cost? it is what it is and i'm telling it like it is. the thing about germany in the day's of hitler's shenanigans was the notion of the "good german"... where there any? we know now there were. but at the point in time and/or immediately after the 2nd world war, the idea of a good german was thought to be illusory, i.e. if they were good why did they allow the atrocities to happen.

evil festers when good men do nothing.

as a parallel, as a malaysian and a muslim, i had implored and if i have to i'd go down on my knees and beg each and every malaysian muslim, to write about the protection of minorities, be it of ethnicity or creed and it's importance to the diversity and dynamism of this country we all call malaysia.

i feel powerless most of the time but i feel the strongest when i tap on my keyboard and with each keystroke, i feel like i reclaim my humanity and separate myselfand my being from those who would do harm to others. i know i am different and i intend to show people that i am not bound by the constant drumming and programming of communal politics that have dulled this county's economic and social competitiveness.

i want to excel and i do not see why malaysian muslims have to cower in fear of these acts of belligerence and intolerance just because they live in a society primarily fueled by prejudices and presumptions.

i am a muslim, and religiously that makes me PART OF THE MAJORITY. knowing what my faith expects of me emboldens me to understand that we have to protect the rights of minorities. what is faith if it merely exists in a vacuum, devoid of diversity and differences. it is diversity and difference that celebrate God's divinity... but who are we to dictate what is and what shall not come to pass, unless we have no qualms in usurping His divinity.

I am also a malaysian, born of a chinese mother and an indian father, and that makes me PART OF THE MINORITY, but would it amaze you to know that i also apparently have the benefit of the bumiputera status? it is an albatross around my neck and i curse the day such a privilege was granted not on needs but on racial motivation. there may have been a time in our nation dark past that such an equaliser was needed for this young nation.

but this nation is now 52 years old and with the benefit of experience and contemplation of greater nations in our midst, we appear to choose not to rise above our own petty presumptions and narrow mindedness.

we are all rich and poor. we are all dark skinned and fair skinned. we are all different and the same. we are all brave and we are all weak. we are all of these things and we are malaysians. whether we are of one ethnicity or another we are all bound by similar and core values that we seek from our faith and our brethren whoever they may be.

maybe the intolerances and bigotry happening with such frequency these days, show our tendency to be weak willed and cowardly. I know of no such person who is strong of heart and will, who would commit such acts of vile hatred and cowardice. it is through the literature of ages that such acts have been strongly condemned as being the acts of the weak.

so why does this BN government allow for such acts by the the majority to go unpunished or unchecked? is the BN government weak willed or cowardly? i stand embarrassed that such apathy exists.

can it be so difficult to do the right thing?

... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight..... or you could just fight to get it back again.

I endorse this.

This is it. I can't take this simpleton bullshit by BN's meddling, total apathy and/or stupidity anymore.

Hi. I'm a Malaysian and a Muslim (i feel like i'm already at an AA meeting), and I thoroughly endorse Jacqueline Ann Surin's article below. So if Zulkifli Nordin-types, or tea-bagged brained politicians in UMNO or their dick wad NGO pallies disagree with this, please let it be known that you don't fucking speak on my behalf, you bunch of sicko-psychos.

If you're reading this, a Malaysian and a Muslim in particular, please take a stand in support of her article on your blog and or social networking page or take up a front page ad in Utusan (just to rile those fuckers up).

Her article is a damning indictment of the BN governments lack of will power and/or belligerent attitude towards its citizens and the protection of minorities in this country. Please take this as a step to reclaim your faith as a Muslim to say NO! to this irresponsible behaviour towards our non-Muslims brethren.

I think Najib better start explaining to the RAKYAT, what the fuck he means by 1MALAYSIA. Because it is starting to look like the rise of Hitler's Germany. One Race One Nation.... and it goes on and on and on... so which is it? 1Malaysia where all differences are embraced and celebrated or 1Malaysia where everybody who is non-MalayMuslim has to fall in line with the majority's whims and deficiencies?

you already have the following dimbulbs....

a DPM who's an idiot - yeah calling Rohaizat's disbarment a mere parking ticket, shows what a retard he is... brother, i never knew of a parking ticket that could deprive a person of his livelihood.

a Home Minister who thinks he's fucking Oprah... who the fuck is he to mediate with the cow head protesters, and step on the AG's or the Police feet? As it is, damage has been done by the cow head protesters and he does no favours for himself when he tarnishes his daddy's legacy. Please get his head checked... people who feel victimised can hold peaceful assemblies... but when you see a cows head being thrown around and spat upon.... every fibre of your being should tell you that this is soo wrong and walk away, BUT they didn't... it is blood lust and the protesters should be punished for it in accordance with the law. By the way, i read that the following day he backtracked on his lame-o endorsement.

a Culture Minister, who is forced to back track on everything he has said in recent days... 1st, the green dam implementation fiasco, then the Black Eyed Peas Arthur's Day gig, is he senile? has he got alzheimer? i want to know. A minister who says one thing and then backtracks, clearly has a fair weather brain and has no spine. so why is he still a minister?

is this the quality that we're getting from a 1Malaysia type cabinet? Fuck, even UMNO's allies, the MCA and the MIC can't do anything... they're too busy with their internal shit to even give a fuck about current affairs affecting their electorate... oh i'm sorry... I forgot MIC and MCA were wiped out last 2008 elections. so, what electorate are we talking about?

so there you go.... BN doesn't give a shit. All talk and same old bullshit. but let's not forget our PR folks who are committed to bungling at every opportunity they get... even the CarryOn bunch would have finished the caper in double quick time. The PR's biggest downfall is that they are not able to get the message out effectively...

and with all the bitching in public... hey, i'm all for an open relationship where people talk things out... but can you take your lover's quarrel and shove it behind closed doors, please? Here's an option, put your money where your mouth is. Throw out the Zulkifli Nordin and Hassan Mohd Ali types on disciplinary grounds and let them try to be the fucking turncoats that they may be... if they do jump ship to BN or become the latest thing in vogue, an independent, and the PR governments fall.... then so be it. Integrity is a severely underestimated quality. If you can't keep your fellas in line how are you going to forge policy? it's still going to be paper that i can wipe my ass with (not literally... i prefer triple ply).

what you politicians have to say arises from a responsibility to this country and ALL its citizens. don't fuck with it.

If the UMNO led BN Goverment (what a mouthful that was) doesn't want to go after their own trouble makers and ne'er do wells, what credibility and respect can this UMNO led BN Government (i'm already huffing) expect to get? Oh... i guess that's why BN has always subscribed to rule by law because it's likely they don't have the brains to understand how to govern by rule of law.

so i raise my glass of (pick your poison), and congratulate Ms Jaqueline Ann Surin for sticking it to the man.

... until next time... kill the lights and pray you don't see daylight..... or you could just fight to get it back again.



What possessed the protesters?
4 Sep 09 : 8.00AM
By Jacqueline Ann Surin
jacquelinesurin@thenutgraph.com

WHAT possessed them? That's the question I'd like to ask the protesters who desecrated a cow head on 28 Aug 2009 after Friday prayers to object the building of a Hindu temple in Section 23, Shah Alam.

We know that it's not Islam that teaches intolerance of and disrespect toward other religious beliefs, nor is it Islam that preaches violence or force if Muslims don't get their way. We also know that it is really not Malaysian or Malay custom at all to be so obnoxious, threatening and crude. For all my life as a Malaysian, I have known Malay customs to be gentle, sophisticated and inclusive. This is most likely because the "Malay" race was actually historically constructed; its customs weaved from a convergence of different continents and cultures.

So, if neither Islam nor Malay custom drove the 50 protesters to publicly despoil a sacred Hindu creature and to threaten bloodshed because of a Hindu temple, what was it?

Possessed by superiority

My hunch is that these protesters were emboldened by a culture of Malay Muslim superiority that has been carefully cultivated and strategically stoked by the Umno-led government, Malay Muslim politicians from Umno, PAS and Parti Keadilan Rakyat (PKR), and by the judiciary both civil and syariah.

We only need to consider the following events where non-Muslim, non-Malay Malaysian rights are deferred, even trampled on, by a system that upholds Malay-Muslim rights and sensitivities as ultimate and unquestionable.

Despite several police reports that have been lodged by Catholics against Al Islam for an undercover report that desecrated the holy communion, no action has reportedly been taken against either the publisher or the editorial team.

Despite the incendiary reports and headlines in Utusan Malaysia that promote ketuanan Melayu at the expense of the constitutional rights of other citizens, no action has been taken against the Malay-language daily by the Home Ministry. Consider how other media have received warnings and threats, and have even been suspended or shut down before for much vaguer offences.

Additionally, let's not forget that in 2006, it was the Barisan Nasional (BN) government, under the leadership of then Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, who banned any discussion of Article 11 and the proposed Interfaith Commission. Abdullah also threatened to use the Sedition Act if Malaysians attempted to discuss their constitutional rights in the light of issues arising from a clash between civil and syariah laws because some Muslim groups charged that these initiatives were attempts to undermine Islam.

According to Selangor PAS, beer must not be sold in Muslim-majority areas regardless of non-Muslims, who may want to consume alcohol and are not prohibited from doing so.

Because this is the holy month of Ramadan, PAS Youth wants the Michael Learns to Rock concert banned. They have described it as a huge insult to Islam especially since Muslims, presumably, should not be having any fun during the fasting month. The Umno-led BN government, surprise, surprise, has also chided the concert organisers for being disrespectful towards Muslims and Ramadan.

But since when was Ramadan meant to be a kill-joy for Muslims and non-Muslims? I don't recall Catholics in Malaysia insisting that non-Catholics should also fast and sacrifice during Lent. Or Hindus suggesting that everyone else should also be a vegetarian on a Hindu holy day.

Mind you, this attempt to ban a band because of preferences, defined by some Muslims for all others, is no different from when the animated movie Babe, which starred a pig as the lead character, was banned several years ago.

Consider also how "Allah" cannot be used by non-Muslims in their worship in Malaysia, out of deference for perceived Muslim insecurity and the notion that the word "Allah" only belongs to Muslims. Let's remember that it is the government of Malaysia that is upholding the ban on the use of "Allah" even though historically and culturally, the word cannot be copyrighted by Muslims, and was used even before Islam.

Notice also how the proscription of pork in students' school lunch boxes and increasing regulation for pet dog ownership presupposes that Muslim sensitivities are all-important regardless of the way of life of other Malaysians.

And it's not just food and pets, its dress codes, too. Remember how in 2005, several ministers defended the dress code imposed by the International Islamic University on non-Muslim female students? No matter that even among Muslim scholars, there is no consensus about the requirement for Muslim women to wear the tudung.

In the conversion cases involving, among others, Shamala Sathiyaseelan, M Moorthy, R Subashini and more recently, M Indira Gandhi and Mohan Singh, one outcome keeps recurring: not even the civil courts will uphold the rights of non-Muslims.

Police inaction

I'll also wager that the Shah Alam protestors were bold enough to do what they did so publicly, showing no fear of being caught or penalised by the police, because they knew that they would not be arrested. After all, in the past, police have demonstrated an uncanny ability to restrain themselves from taking action whenever a Muslim mob attacked a Malaysian forum that tried to address the issues of political Islam and how they affect our nation.

We shouldn't be surprised at all that the Selangor police stood by and did nothing on 28 Aug while the protesters promised bloodshed and clearly threatened the peace. After all, the police also took minimal action against the mob that disrupted the peaceful Article 11 forum in Penang in 2006, and against another mob, led by PKR's Zulkifli Noordin, that disrupted the August 2008 Bar Council forum on conversion in Malaysia.

And what has the current administration led by Datuk Seri Najib Razak demonstrated to reinforce this culture of inaction in the face of threats and attacks against civil liberties and the legitimate rights of non-Malay and non-Muslim Malaysians? It excuses these threats of violence. Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein not only found time to meet the cow-head protesters at his office, he also found ways to justify their actions by making them out to be the ones who were "victimised".

We all know that if any group protested against the building of a mosque by using a severed and bloodied pig head, the group would not have stood a chance with the authorities. And they definitely would not have been so easily welcomed, and then defended, by the home minister in his office. And that's why, even when protests that are designed to insult Islam happens, the perpetrators of such hate antics do so without revealing themselves.

So, what possessed the residents of Section 23, Shah Alam to do what they did so boldly and publicly? I'll be happy to wager that it's because they believed they would get away with it. Even if they eventually don't because of public outrage, including among Muslims, and the embarrassing international headlines, these protesters probably started off by believing that their method of protest would not result in any repercussions on them. Indeed, Hishammuddin's defence of them may just be an indicator of how, even if they are taken to task for instigating violence, they will be let off lightly.

And so, do you blame the protesters for thinking they would get away with threats of violence? I don't. The evidence, after all, that they would likely escape action because they belong to a Malay Muslim majority, is just too overwhelming. Denying that a particular political culture has been put in place in order to favour such bigoted, violent and intolerant behaviour would be to deny that the 28 Aug demonstration ever occurred.

Jacqueline Ann Surin had to shout to be heard over a Merdeka dinner at a friend's home in Section 6, PJ because the terawih prayers from the nearby mosque was being blared for more than an hour before she left. She wonders if for some Muslims, piety is best demonstrated by being a nuisance to one's neighbours.

Growing up with a loved one (updated with official video directed by cameron crowe).

It's that time again. They're back with their 9th studio album. I'm not relishing the thought of kicking it with this new album, but after listening to the their 1st single "the fixer".... the buzz is killing me and i can't wait for this 20-9-2009 when it's officially released...



what i'm really drawn to is that they're still together after all these years and this just blows my mind. just as a primer, have a look at the making of....



i wonder if it makes sense to go to some seaside town to get some new done up? a change of scenery... the drums from "got some" sound amazing. trust MattCam to take it a notch higher...

then i came across this official video directed by cameron crowe.... rocks heart on sleeve....

to inspire wild things and to take heart of them...

again, being on this weird spiritual journey of getting connected with what or who i think or thought i am and to move and grow from that wretched place they call "then". maybe not spiritual, but you can feel the energy derived from the enterprise. admittedly i've been so far behind on the things that replenish me, maybe for the past 10 years... that i've more or less felt empty... perhaps i've been running on empty. without petrol and grinding down the machine that is me.

I don't know, maybe i've lost the plot or simply lost direction. I've been persistently dead set against having a garmin GPS in my car... and i think it stems from the fact that i want to retain my purportedly excellent sense of direction.

but having a sense of direction would, i think inevitably mean being rather retrospective, because you know where you've been and how to plan your escape route... but what about life's mysteries which simply show up and take you places? places you've never been or opportunities that even allow you the privilege of being blessed by something completely different?

i start today with this band, "Arcade Fire". the music's amazingly gut-wrenching and uplifting. i still haven't gone through their entire catalogue to truly think they're excellent but from what i've hear i love the dynamics... quite easy to pin down, but it takes a certain amount of inspiration to get it in the right order and they seem to have done it.

the question is how did i get to this point of being introduced to Arcade Fire? just my love for trailers. i came across this new movie that coming out sometime in october by spike jonze... "where the wild things are", which is a screen adaptation of the children's book by maurice sendak. i've never heard of it, but now i have and for some strange reason i feel so utterly rewarded. not only was it a good trailer, i found out it was a great book that i'm going to look for at either kino or borders, i found out about Arcade Fire how supplied the song for the trailer... recorded especially for the movie...

the song used in the trailer was "wake up" by arcade fire and it rocked. plus having tony soprano being carol, one of the wild things in the movie and in the trailer, can't be a bad thing.... here's the trailer if for your viewing pleasure":-

and if you really want to keep it and view it in glorious HD, click here.

so is this post about the movie or the song? I don't really know or care. do you? i think it's just telling me that i'm on to something. maybe i should keep at this and surprise myself every day... and it sure beats doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

my latest super deluxe extra specious love tawdry marital loverly stalking paining obsessive-tion

these last few days of the week have been harrowing and i'm hoping it'll end with a bang tomorrow. actually, with a few drinks here and there and a couple of laughs. this has been my pre-ccupation for the past few weeks.... it started last year when i saw the trailer for madonna's directorial debut. "filth & wisdom". it's gotten quite a panning, but what drew me to it was this irresistably loud and cacaphonous band... gogol bordello. with their lead singer and main man, eugene hutz, kicking up a shit storm. so i've been hooked since. so i checked them up on youtube and... jumping jeepers!! they really are as advertised....

so we start of with... supertheory of supereverything from their 2007 release Super Taranta...



then we head of with... start wearing purple from their debut album, Voi-La Intruder...



then this one from the movie and Super Taranta... wonderlust king... with an aged withnail...



finally to see them pull it off in the flesh... wonderlust king on david letterman



... and this ditty... not a crime...on Jools Holland's show and from Gypsy Punks: Underdog World Strike...



so i've been little aloof about things since... well, since... but this is sort of relateable and a welcome relief. so here's to eugene and the gang for making handlebar moustaches fun since 2002. =)

...these are a few of my favourite reds...

this is the shizzle if ya gizzle ma' dizzle, ma' bizzle?

if you watched the dark knight and had this linger on your mind, fret no more. here it is...



ok ok ok... so it was not a red band, but why... so... seriousss....? or wha tabout this one? this should be what an anti-piracy ad blitz be about.



so yeah, let's get on with the reds...















till next time.